Negotiations. A conclusion.

*This blog post is part of a three piece series on conflict, assertiveness and negotiation, for one of my university course. Comments are greatly appreciated, thank you.*

If we were to look back at the last two posts we could end this series of articles by concluding it with a little something extra: negociation.

First of all, we looked at conflict, a difference in opinion between two or more participants that hasn’t been resolved, and saw how it could be beneficial. We also explored the four approaches to handling conflict and saw how in the corect way of resolving issues you must be polite, respectful, get your point across, be an active listener, but, also, be assertive without seeming agressive.

But how do you actually collaborate to end a conflict? By negociating.

Negociation refers to the dialogue between two or more participants in order to reach an agreement or understanding in regards to a proposed situation. Negotiation can be seen as the compromising approach to a conflict unless other factors can influence this process. For instance, at a job offer negotiation, the two parties start by discussing the salary but end up compensating or finding alternative solutions to the amount of money each of the party had in mind.

When involved in a negotiontion each party will have a reservation point from which they want to start negotiating. In between the two reservation points lies a bargaining range. Somewhere within this bargaining range is the solution to the issue at hand. In the best case scenario, the two parties will meet at the middle, but as this is real life, it’s more likely that this isn’t how it goes down.

So, BATNA (Best alternative to a negociated agreement) = is the course of action taken when negociations fail. It is the most advantageous option to the desired outcome. But BATNAs can be influenced. By bringing additional information and perks, you can trip the scales in your advantage. For instance, when selling a car, by adding perks such as spare tyres or mentioning any recent total inspections could raise the value of the car. Therefore, make sure when you go in a negotiation you know not only what you can bring extra but try and anticipate the other party’s BATNA.

In conclusion to the series of posts I hope that by now you know what conflict is and the attitude you should have when entering negociations so that a succesful outcome is reached.

Learning to be assertive

*This blog post is part of a three piece series on conflict, assertiveness and negotiation, for one of my university course. Comments are greatly appreciated, thank you.*

Being assertive in the workplace is like walking on a string. You want to keep you balance between becoming too aggressive and too soft, both of which can bring your downfall. And this can happen not only in the workplace, but also in university where you may have to take a stand for your work in front of a lecturer or in your personal life where you have to protect your interests.

Another place where assertiveness is highly required is when negotiating a job offer as you have to keep your ground and keep your best interest at heart.

But how easy is it when you’re talking to someone in a higher position or a more authoritative position than you to stand your ground? 

It is hard!

But what you have to remember at all times is be polite and respectful. No tantrums or outbursts of anger because you’re not getting what you want and be open to discussion. Most of all, when it comes to a negotiation, be prepared. Know what to expect and be ready with responses.

Take a look at the bigger picture and always think about the consequences of your actions - is this something worth fighting for  and are you in any position to pick a fight or are you just doing it for the sake of argument?

Can you stand up for yourself without actually being perceived as an aggressive person?

No one wants to be perceived as aggressive, especially in the workplace. If you get a reputation as an aggressive person, who would want to work with you? But you don’t want to be a door mat either. So, choose your battles and plan ahead.

I’ve recently read this article on differences in the workplace and how one woman was perceived as aggressive just for stating the obvious. She worked flex hours (7.30 to 3.30 instead of 8.15 to 4.15) and was forced to stay late for meetings because her co-workers worked normal hours. When she suggested the meetings start on time and that she needed to get home she was seen as aggressive.

Choosing options such as flex-time or working from home in certain days may be seen as arrogance or smugness, but they’re just a different option to the regular work time. Problem is the difference between perception and reality – working from home may just seem as a day off to the people who would be in the office all day, even if you’re as productive or more than they are.

I agree with the attitude of the young woman in the article, she wasn’t aggressive (even though she was perceived as such), but I probably wouldn’t have done the same. Knowing it to be a temporary problem, having to stay longer only for a week or two, I would have reverted to the regular schedule for that time. I would have still said something about meeting starting late, but given that now my schedule would have been the same as theirs I believe it wouldn’t have been met with such reticence.

Learning to be assertive

For instance, I find it harder to be in a position of responsibility at times, as I don’t want to be perceived as that person that bosses people around. I know people who can do it very well without feeling as though they are being patronizing and aggressive, but for me it doesn’t come naturally so I have to work twice as much on it.

Whenever I’m left in charge I try suggesting options to people rather than telling them what to do, I keep a friendly attitude and I’m always polite and reassuring. I use phrases such as “It would be helpful”,”If you could” and I always say “thank you” and “please” as this goes a long way with my colleagues.

Do you find it hard to be assertive? Or do you know any other tips and tricks for standing you ground? Let me know.